My Journey through “642 Things To Write About Me” continues and today’s random flip has taken me to: Describe something “spiritual” you already know you’ll never do again, no matter how long you live.  I’ve added the “spiritual” to make this fun for me.

This is an easy one and I love this story.  When I first started learning about all this yoga & metaphysical spiritual stuff I would definitely categorize myself as a “seeker.”  I was in so much physical and emotional pain I would try ANYTHING recommended to me.  If someone said something was awesome for them, I was in.  So, this workshop was offered led by a Shaman and by a woman who taught or teaches red tantra.  Shamanism is from the Native American traditions and red tantra is a sexualized form of tantra.  I kinda knew about Shamanism, but I didn’t know about red tantra or even tantra at all.  I’d never heard the term.

Not only were those two practices integrating in the workshop, but part of the healing was to be done in a swimming pool and a word like Watusi was mentioned and we were to “float” each other and there was something about rebirthing and, oh, bathing suits were “optional.”  Did I mention crystal healing too?  So, needless to say there was a lot going on and I was totally in with bathing suit packed.

So I get there and we are sitting in a circle and it becomes clear we are evenly paired boy/girl.  Ugg.  And then the smudging begins and folks are smudging their “you know where.”  And I am not.   I should have run, but they promised  if we stayed until the end of the day something amazing and magical would happen.  We would realize some truth.

So it goes on and I forget many details, but I do remember the Shaman pulling some energy ick out one dude and throwing it in a candle and I actually saw it and I’d never seen anything like that so I was freaked out.  And then we went to the floating pool and everyone stripped down…EVERYONE…except for me in my bathing suit.  I’m an Ohio girl after all.  The Shaman was playing a drum on the edge of the pool and dancing and his stuff was dancing with him and I’m in the pool and folks are making rebirthing noises and I nearly hyperventilated and vomited and had a panic attack and my head was just screaming “Get the F#ck out of here.”   Still I stayed because I was hooked with the spiritual magical happening to take place by the end of the day.

So we all get dressed and go back to the circle and are “diagnosed.”  Because of my inability to be comfortable in my birthday suit with a bunch of total strangers in a dark pool lined with crystals while a Shaman danced naked playing a drum and everyone made birthing noises, I was declared to be sexually inhibited.  As if I didn’t have enough problems to tackle.

So I will never again seek outside of myself for some form of God.  I will never again turn my spiritual will over to another’s form of God.  It took many more years and I have stopped seeking God entirely and God has come.

“When you think of God, your God is the projection of your own thought, the result of social influences. You can think only of the known; you cannot think of the unknown, you cannot concentrate on truth. The moment you think of the unknown, it is merely the self-projected known. So, God or truth cannot be thought about. If you think about it, it is not truth. truth cannot be sought – it comes to you. You can go only after what is known. When the mind is not tortured by the known, by the effects of the known, then only can truth reveal itself. truth is in every leaf, in every tear; it is to be known from moment to moment. No one can lead you to truth, and if anyone leads you, it can only be to the known.

~ Krishnamurti

MEDITATION TO DEAL WITH YOUR OWN MIND. (This meditation can get you out of a Pamela Quinnnasty situation).

Sit in easy pose.  Close your right nostril with your right thumb and the other four fingers are straight.  Inhale through your left  Nostril slow and deep, Exhale through your mouth. Do this for 6 minutes.  To end simply interlace your fingers, bring your arms up overhead and flip your palms.  Inhale and hold the breath for 10 seconds stretching the spine up.

I hope this is helpful.  Peace, Pamela

*The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about the tradition of ayurveda, yoga, and meditation. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure or prevention of any disease. If you have any serious acute or chronic health concern, please consult a trained health professional who can fully assess your needs and address them effectively. Check with your doctor before taking herbs or using essential oils when pregnant or nursing.